Elevation

Drudging across the dark desert with each laborious step. The Thoughtful reminiscing of his journey. Gaining stories and lessons and losing more of his mortal shell. Falls. With no hope laying on the ground, closes his eyes for the fate that awaits him. The darkness creeping upon his fallen body. No companion. No clothes. No possessions. No legacy of his nameless heritage. reliving all of the anguish and love that he had seen in the world. Consciously closing his eyes. Taking a deep breath, letting his lungs fill with the sweet air of the world for the last time. Life is special only because we know it ends, and at this moment the Thoughtful was at the apex of his life. The Thoughtful is dead. Illuminated by the light he had be yearning. His physical body no longer in the land of the mortals, but his thoughts and soul elevated to a higher plane.

PS everything I write/say/ or do, is referring to something else. You have to really know me and the language I speak (takes about a year of talking to me all the time) to really understand it. I also want to point out this might be my masterpiece and I am not going crazy but there is a really good analogy going on here.

Compassion

Tonight I felt(interesting word for me) a traumatic experience. Coming out of a bar a pigeon laying on the ground. I see the pigeon taking flight and heading straight towards a wall. The pigeon hits the wall and falls to the floor. Everyone on awe. I go to the pigeon pick it up. In my head I am thinking the pigeon will be alright. In my head hesitating on if I should take it home and nurse it back to health. Everyone around me is freaking out. Some taking picture of me holding a sick bird. Another person takes the pigeon from me. The pigeon obviously sick and hurt, turns over and what appears to be a drunk girl drops the bird. The bird turns over and dies. This is the first time I have ever seen anything die. I don't feel anything. What was disturbing was the conversation that was around. A moron is telling the drunk girl to throw the bird and it will fly. Clearly being a dick about the situation and knowing that the pigeon will only fall again. Another person speaking of how the right thing is to "stomp" the pigeons head and let it go of its misery.

I am shocked by the lack of compassion for the bird from fellow humans. I looked into the birds eyes. Looking dead and dazed. Innocent of what is around it. Gasping for life. The crowd showing no compassion. Someone suggests putting it in the bushes and its the best place where it would heal. Even me, I was afraid to bring it back to my place although I knew it was the right thing to do (I don't think I wouldn't have brought it back, knowing that I possibly let something die).

During my trip on my birthday I learned what compassion meant. Although in my memory, it still haunts me. How we treat the poor and homeless as if they are something less than us. Not human. Showing no compassion. It hurts me to pass up a homeless person every day. The feeling of rejection they might feel as if they aren't human or deserving of life. This is the most powerful feeling that I have, and possibly the only.

I think to myself how could the crowd show no compassion towards an animal that is in pain and dying. The greatest thing you can do to anyone before they die isn't to put them out of their misery, but rather show them compassion and showing them that they matter. I hope when I am dying, people show that I am important in this world and not a infested object. Compassion is the what makes us humans. I wish for a world filled with compassion and love.

Companion

A dreaded journey through the darkness. A subtle glance back upon the steps behind him. The Thoughtful moving east in search of warmth. Months pass on his journey until he sees another desolate soul. A wise woman. Subtle wrinkles signifying her passionate life. Crooked smile signifying her misguided charm.

"What is your purpose?" - her smile turning

"To find warmth." - a definitive answer

"I can offer companionship in the desert.I have snakes to keep you company"

"Why would I want a companion? This is my own journey."

"You seek warmth. Such things are best found with a whole heart."

"I understand"

She offers a large snake. Jet black with glowing eyes. Frightening yet soothing. Subtle wrinkles signifying her passionate life. Battle wounds from past failures mark its body. The Thoughtful is intrigued, but then sees another snake upon the enchantresses cloak. A baby snake. No wounds. No wrinkles. Pure. Tessellation of triangles over its body. Exuding a level of comfort.

"I want that one."

"I would advise against that."

"It's what my heart desires."

"I would not judge a man's heart. In time you might learn the lesson, but I hope that day never comes." Moving her hand on his shoulder. The snake sailing onto his shoulder as if it belong there.

Life Prepares You For Death

Born.
Get a pet.
Play with pet.
Pet dies.
Gain perspective on death.
Go to college.
Find true love.
Feel content.
Fall out of love.
Feel empty.
Gain perspective on death.
Find true love again.
Get married.
Have kids.
Buy a pet for kids to teach perspective on death.
Grandmother is ill.
Grandmother passes away.
Gain perspective on death.
Get grandchildren.
Grandfather is ill.
Grandfather passes away.
Gain perspective on death.
Mother is ill.
Mother passes away.
Grasp death.
Father is ill.
Father passes away.
Next in line.
Love is sick.
Love passes away.
First in line.
Fall sick.
Gain perspective on life.
Prepared for death.
Die.

Fun v Funny

We know when activity is fun and when a situation is funny. Now what happens when we try to categorize people based on if they are fun or funny? Wellllllll LETS SEE

Fun:
- Down to hang out and do anything
- Enjoys the moment
- Enjoys the situation no matter how shitty
- Thinks of how to make the situation funner(real word)
- Thinks of new fun things to do, doesn't like routine
- Slightly sheytoon (this is devilish in Farsi, but the Farsi word really captures the meaning)

Funny:
Being funny is a lot harder to categorize. You should know if someone is funny or not. In my mind, the more complex the joke and thought structure, the funnier that person is. The most important part is that just because people laugh at you, it doesn't mean that you are actually funny... you have to make people laugh and not at your own expense.

Combinations:
This is pretty simple but what happens when you have a combination of the two categories? Who in your life is fun but not funny? Who is neither? Think about it... EVERYONE CAN BE CATEGORIZED.

If you are neither, then I am sorry for you. Naturally people will take on one role to be able to survive our social structure and be accepted. Those who overcome the barriers of just being one will rise and be fun and funny. Sometimes though, a funny person may choose to not be fun. It all depends on each pereson's comfort level.

Now what to do with your friends once you have categorized them? Well if we adapt the famous BCG matrix to this argument the answer is simple

Kill the not fun+not funny friends. Simple as that.

Blinding Light

A small tear in the top of the tent, giving enough space for a ray of light to brighten up his eyes. Each day, the Thoughtful Clown plays over the memories of the past. Cheerful plays that bring a smile to his face. In an empty,dark and lonely tent the only thing that brings him a moment of sanity is the ray of light that warms his soul. Years go by, isolated. Without outside disturbance. The Thoughtful Clown perfecting his unbalanced art. Slowly creeping into insanity. Years go by, isolated. Without outside disturbance, content. Then one day, waiting for the ray of light to creep into his tent of insanity, the light doesn't arrive. Confused. The Thoughtful Clown, creeps out of his tent. To his shock, there is no light outside of his tent. The Thoughtful Clown lays outside of his tent waiting for light. Time passes. Starts to search for an answer in the dark. Time passes. Slowly creeping into lunacy. Time passes. He wallows to a standing position. Cleans his makeup. Takes off his costume. Heads East* taking only his burden in search of light.

*In reality its North, but East makes more sense.

Eve of my 25th birthday

Twenty five. Such a mathematically trivial number. There is no beauty in the number twenty five. Just another number like eighteen or thirty four, but some how it represents so much when its tagged along with someones ages. There is nothing special that happens when you turn twenty five. You don't get your first car, you don't get to "break" any more rules. You don't even get a birthday cake anymore. But somehow the twenty fifth birthday holds a lot of weight. I dare say, it might be the prelude to adulthood. For the first time, the pessimistic aura that is associated with growing older is materialized. Having lived through a quarter of your life*. As if death is quickly creeping up. I've always thought this was the secret to growing up, and the death of your youth. The simple realization that there is a promise of death waiting for all of us.

This realization means the world to the enlightened. No longer do we have the luxury of waiting. We can't sample every experience and then if we still haven't found the right flavor, we can still keep seeking. Life becomes less about waiting and more about action. Less about hoping for something and more about pursuit.

A quarter of your life has been lived. Such a simple but powerful statement. I won't sit here and say that I have fully understood this. I hope I will soon. I still won't talk to a girl because of my insecurities. I won't fight for something that I desire to have. I won't utilize my time, to get what I want... or better yet, simply make up my mind about what I want.

Now what does this all mean? How will I live my life? I hope I become more judicious and selfish with my time. I care less about what could happen and rejection. I hope I appreciate my friends and family more. I suck the life out of every second. I don't do something that I don't have a passion for. That when I look back after having lived "half" of my life, I know that I shouldn't be afraid of the future because I have a past that I have been proud of to call wholly mine and a bright future that will do myself justice. I will ward off the pessimism that comes with another notch being added to your body and see the glass as half empty but rather waiting to be filled.

*its quarter of a century and not life, but damn it, I will live to 100