Questions to not ask during an initial conversation.

I will be adding and changing this blog post.

Don't ask:
What does your name mean?
What's your name?
What city are you from? How do you like said city compared to current city?
What is your ethnicity?
What do you do for work?
How do you know each other?
How long have you lived here?

Everyone has been asked these questions. They're good to ask to build initial conversation but the real value comes through when you can get people to give answers to questions they haven't thought about. When people start having to thing and going away from their rehearsed answers, you are able to see their logic and how they come up with questions.

Do ask:
What do you do for fun?

The Fall

Elevated, the Thoughtful observes the world left behind and reflects on the memories that still remain. Gazing upon the mortals from his elevated view, he is able to understand interactions which alluded him before. Clouds that blocked his eyes were slowly being pushed away. What puzzled him in his mortal shell, became child's play. For when the Thoughtful gazed upon the mortals, he was able to understand them and in turn understand himself better. All that was required was to gain a new perspective on what he already knew. A perspective that was unattainable wandering the mortal land.

The Thoughtful rigorously observed and processed the mortals, and started to create frameworks to create structure to the seemingly chaotic world. Creating belief systems on how the world operates and how the world should operate. As the clouds dissipated year by year, the Thoughtful became wiser by observing others. Slowly chipping away at the mysteries of existence.

Although the Thoughtful had acquired knowledge unattainable without his new paradigm, an old truth still haunted him. In order to fully understand, one must actively participate in the world, rather than merely observe it. The Thoughtful knew what he needed to do. To return to the land of the mortals, to live there once again with the lessons learned from the paradigm shift. The Thoughtful, jumped down towards his old home, leaving his immortal existence to have it be replaced with another mortal shell. The leap fueled by the hope that he would have a new found appreciation for his one again home, to be able to experience the old with a new set of eyes, and to possibly enlighten the mortals. As his feet touched the mortal land, the Thoughtful ceased to exist, and what remained was the Devil Messiah.

Words to remove in order to reach expression excellence

1. Maybe
2. Soon
3. Hopefully

They mean nothing. They serve no purpose other than having some one be allowed to be indecisive about what they want to do. I want people in my life that are decisive. It's fine if you don't want to do something. If you don't don't say maybe I will come. Clearly say that you won't be able to come. Making decisions is what makes people happy and less anxious, and for me, allows me to plan accordingly. In addition if you make up your mind and make a promise, follow through. End rant.


In addition to the words listed above, I will try to remove the list below from my vocabulary. This will allow me to
1. Be more exact in communicating my thoughts
2. Not use words that can be replaced by other words that better express the situation

Without further ado
1. Shit
2. Good/ Bad
3. Fun/ Boring
4. Funny/ Dull
5. Interesting

Friend Portfolio Optimization

Philosophy:To give a back ground, I made a friend excel because I was chasing after the "wrong" people. Girls that would break my heart. People who weren't good friends. Girls that I didn't have interest in. People that I was bringing up but they weren't bringing me up to the same level. People who were neither fun when I went out with them nor were they funny when I was kicking it with them. This is why the list is made. If I properly allocate my time, maybe I can get to where I want to be. A girl that I enjoy hanging out with, and is hot. Friends who are fun and/or funny hoping for more of ands rather than ors. The idea is where do I want to spend my time with people, and how do I want to spend my time with them.

How to do this:Think of everyone in your life. If you interact with someone, they are in your life and you are spending time on them that could be used doing something else. For example if I get coffee with someone, I could be spending on working out. Going out seeing the world. Meeting new people. These all dictate what kind of person you are. Figure out what you use people for and see if its a worth while investment.

My biggest tip is to be honest with yourself. Don't share the list with others as it will make you start being dishonest. Also this isn't a list you should look at daily but to get a frame work, update on a monthly basis, in your mind and see where you are losing time (this is a very IE exercise where you find where value is being created/lost). Also when I say be honest, I mean be honest with where someone should be. Don't be nice, this is your time and you should use it correctly.

Categories that I have:great friends - 5
good friends - 12
mentor - 3
put in effort - 5
put less effort - 2
phase out - 46 - people who you shouldn't put in any effort with. this should be the biggest bucket
wish list - 4
future successful friends - 21
once in a while contact - 11
work list - got moved to its own excel that i need to clean up
mentees - 3
need to be listed - right now 0

Categories I should add/seem like a good idea:Guys/friends to go out with and have fun with
People you trust
People who have abused your trust

Final thoughts:
When I made my list I realized where I was spending my time. I also realized I didn't have enough mentors so I actively seeked them.

I hope this helped and have fun making your own list. Again, be honest with yourself and stop wasting your time. Its the only thing we have.

Elevation

Drudging across the dark desert with each laborious step. The Thoughtful reminiscing of his journey. Gaining stories and lessons and losing more of his mortal shell. Falls. With no hope laying on the ground, closes his eyes for the fate that awaits him. The darkness creeping upon his fallen body. No companion. No clothes. No possessions. No legacy of his nameless heritage. reliving all of the anguish and love that he had seen in the world. Consciously closing his eyes. Taking a deep breath, letting his lungs fill with the sweet air of the world for the last time. Life is special only because we know it ends, and at this moment the Thoughtful was at the apex of his life. The Thoughtful is dead. Illuminated by the light he had be yearning. His physical body no longer in the land of the mortals, but his thoughts and soul elevated to a higher plane.

PS everything I write/say/ or do, is referring to something else. You have to really know me and the language I speak (takes about a year of talking to me all the time) to really understand it. I also want to point out this might be my masterpiece and I am not going crazy but there is a really good analogy going on here.

Compassion

Tonight I felt(interesting word for me) a traumatic experience. Coming out of a bar a pigeon laying on the ground. I see the pigeon taking flight and heading straight towards a wall. The pigeon hits the wall and falls to the floor. Everyone on awe. I go to the pigeon pick it up. In my head I am thinking the pigeon will be alright. In my head hesitating on if I should take it home and nurse it back to health. Everyone around me is freaking out. Some taking picture of me holding a sick bird. Another person takes the pigeon from me. The pigeon obviously sick and hurt, turns over and what appears to be a drunk girl drops the bird. The bird turns over and dies. This is the first time I have ever seen anything die. I don't feel anything. What was disturbing was the conversation that was around. A moron is telling the drunk girl to throw the bird and it will fly. Clearly being a dick about the situation and knowing that the pigeon will only fall again. Another person speaking of how the right thing is to "stomp" the pigeons head and let it go of its misery.

I am shocked by the lack of compassion for the bird from fellow humans. I looked into the birds eyes. Looking dead and dazed. Innocent of what is around it. Gasping for life. The crowd showing no compassion. Someone suggests putting it in the bushes and its the best place where it would heal. Even me, I was afraid to bring it back to my place although I knew it was the right thing to do (I don't think I wouldn't have brought it back, knowing that I possibly let something die).

During my trip on my birthday I learned what compassion meant. Although in my memory, it still haunts me. How we treat the poor and homeless as if they are something less than us. Not human. Showing no compassion. It hurts me to pass up a homeless person every day. The feeling of rejection they might feel as if they aren't human or deserving of life. This is the most powerful feeling that I have, and possibly the only.

I think to myself how could the crowd show no compassion towards an animal that is in pain and dying. The greatest thing you can do to anyone before they die isn't to put them out of their misery, but rather show them compassion and showing them that they matter. I hope when I am dying, people show that I am important in this world and not a infested object. Compassion is the what makes us humans. I wish for a world filled with compassion and love.

Companion

A dreaded journey through the darkness. A subtle glance back upon the steps behind him. The Thoughtful moving east in search of warmth. Months pass on his journey until he sees another desolate soul. A wise woman. Subtle wrinkles signifying her passionate life. Crooked smile signifying her misguided charm.

"What is your purpose?" - her smile turning

"To find warmth." - a definitive answer

"I can offer companionship in the desert.I have snakes to keep you company"

"Why would I want a companion? This is my own journey."

"You seek warmth. Such things are best found with a whole heart."

"I understand"

She offers a large snake. Jet black with glowing eyes. Frightening yet soothing. Subtle wrinkles signifying her passionate life. Battle wounds from past failures mark its body. The Thoughtful is intrigued, but then sees another snake upon the enchantresses cloak. A baby snake. No wounds. No wrinkles. Pure. Tessellation of triangles over its body. Exuding a level of comfort.

"I want that one."

"I would advise against that."

"It's what my heart desires."

"I would not judge a man's heart. In time you might learn the lesson, but I hope that day never comes." Moving her hand on his shoulder. The snake sailing onto his shoulder as if it belong there.